Author: Prashant Modani

Wandering in the wonderland, not knowing where to go, Alice came across a Cheshire Cat

‘Cheshire Puss,’ she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. Come, it’s pleased so far,’ thought Alice, and she went on. ‘Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’
‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat.
‘I don’t much care where–’ said Alice.
‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat.
‘–so long as I get SOMEWHERE,’ Alice added as an explanation.
‘Oh, you’re sure to do that,’ said the Cat, ‘if you only walk long enough.’

I was warned about the cruel Minneapolis winters, and that there will be knee deep snow, sub zero conditions… however this winter was the one of the mildest ones Minneapolis had in years, with the temperature hovering in mid 30’s (F) (around 2-3’C mark)

I waited a lot for snow, but since the temperature was above the freezing point, all I saw was rain – no snow… However, just before the Christmas weekend, it snowed, and today again on the new years eve – it snowed. Looking outside the terrace, I could see snow flakes twirling around in the air before they settled on the roads, cars, rooftops, construction site – everywhere…

Since the temperature is now below freezing point – this snow will not melt. It will continue getting accumulated (except on roads which are cleared daily), and soon there should be enough to make a snow man… Here are a few snaps of the initial snow.

It was an enjoyable sight. I hope the pics do justice to the sight.

When my exams used to get over, it was a nice feeling – regardless of how your exam went. There is a sense of freedom – I felt I can do whatever I wanted to do, which I was not able to do because of my exams. However soon the realization sets in that there is nothing to do… This happened almost always!

The paradox is funny. While I used to prepare for my exams – any exams, be it boards, college, CA or CFA… anything that came on TV seemed interesting. My friends suddenly were planning the most fun outing trips, and suddenly, post freedom – nothing to do! I switched on the TV, all that’s coming is re-run of F.R.I.E.N.D.S but it was the same re-runs I wanted to watch over preparing for advanced accountancy during my CA finals.

I can only conclude that the fun of watching TV or talking on phone or whatever you love doing when you should be studying is much more then when you are not doing anything… Is it the law of diminishing marginal utility in play (i.e. when you watch less TV because of studies, each hour of TV gives you a higher utility, then when you watch more TV as you are free) or is it simply because when, we know for a fact that something is wrong (watching TV during exams), we want to do it all the more…

Is it a phenomenon (wanting something which is wrong or available in a limited quantity) all pervasive?

Consider budding romances… the want to meet, the want to dress-up, the well thought lies at home, the secret meetings, the holding hands while walking, the movies that you go to but come out of the hall not remembering the story – in short – the passion to steal every possible moment from parents, society etc… When the same becomes legitimate and you don’t need to steal it anymore – does it suddenly become humdrum? I do wonder if it remains equally intriguing, as it was when it was “Forbidden”…

I wouldn’t know, my exams are still on 😉

This year was a long eventful one… Resting on my couch, I was thinking about all that happened this year… Decided to pen down the major highlights!

Dec 31, 2005 – New years party at our residence
My hair were long and they looked messy, but I did not want to get them cut short so I got them straightened instead and I was told that they looked good 🙂 Me and Kaustubh (my flat-mate then) hosted a get together, and it went just perfect. We had a specialty dish – Baked potatoes with Nacho cream sauce, I think the appreciation received that day, lead to the birth of my cooking hobby. Woke up at 1 pm – Jan 1, 2006 – No hangover!

Feb 2006 (first week) – Visit to Delhi
Home sick to the core, and fed up of the 14-16 hours of work days – 7 days a week, the Delhi trip was a welcome break. I was also interviewed by Ameriprise during the end of this trip which made this personal break of some professional use as well. It was not possible to make frequent trips to Delhi from Chennai and hence each trip was memorable.

Mar 2006 – Resignation from Citibank
My boss couldn’t believe. and his boss too… 🙂 The resignation, was not accepted as it remained on my bosses’ boss’s table (K.S. Shankar – also a mentor figure), who finally passed it on to HR only by the end of March. Release date was not promised and Ameriprise needed me to join as soon as possible. I kept worrying What if Citi does not release in time? Each day was full of tension.

April 5, 2006 – One way ticket to Delhi
It finally started sinking in that my 31 month exile to Chennai is drawing to an end when I booked a one-way ticket to Delhi. First I booked Jet Airways dated Apr 21 and then when Citi agreed to release me a day earlier (Apr 20) – I cancelled it and booked Sahara for Apr 20. Each day was important and cancellation fee seemed in-consequential in the larger scheme of events!

April 6-14, 2006 – Surprising Finances! 🙂
This was a period of shame 🙂 Citibank had asked for pay in lieu of notice period and also repayment of asset loan that they had extended. I needed to arrange close to Rs 200,000 to finance my freedom – i.e. Pay Citibank, the packers and movers, air-tickets and incidentals. Thought of selling my car, drew up a cost benefit chart which showed clearly that though I would get only Rs 280,000 for my 4,800 km driven Santro (practically new), I would need to pay Rs 400,000 to buy a new one (equally accessorized) for Delhi. Moreover, the sales evaluation process was painful, as the brokers evaluated her, and told me what all was wrong with her, while everything about her seemed just perfect to me. So I decided we’ll be together and I borrowed money from my brother, who couldn’t figure out WHY after working for 31 months I needed to borrow. I opened my excel files and try to figure out – I could not figure out either 🙂

April 15, 2006 – Packing
The packers and movers wrapped up every single belonging and it suddenly started becoming clear where the money had gone. There were 48 items, one full truck load… 3 cartons of just books and 2 cartons of just clothes (over and above the clothes I would carry to Delhi in my suitcases). The packing went on till late night and I was exhausted by the end of it. The house was totally empty and it felt good. Had trouble sleeping on a rented mattress with no AC. My 31 months in Chennai had made me an AC addict. I watched outside from the hole where the AC used to be and waited for 7 more days after which I would be gone too.

April 16 – 20, 2006 – Farewell
Luckily, my flat mate and good friend Kaustubh who was equally fed-up with Chennai also got a break in Mumbai (albeit with Citibank itself so he did not have to resign) and he was to leave Chennai forever just 2 days after I go… We both celebrated the great news over beer and sumptuous food at Cascade. (One of the joints that we frequented) Life seemed great and future looked perfect. We gave a combined party to our friends, some of whom – also away from their hometowns seemed jealous 🙂 The final day came, picked up my packed suitcases – looked at the empty home once again and went for my Air Sahara flight!

April 21 – 23, 2006 – Madness
Well, I had to meet family, friends, get my medicals done for Ameriprise, search for a house in Gurgaon and what not. (Or else where do I keep the stuff that will arrive from Chennai by end of April?) 3 Hectic days of calling realtors, responding to classified Ads and seeing over 10 houses, I finally liked one house, to which we made an offer and the landlord accepted. I now had a home. Since Gurgaon has no power half the time, a power-backup was a must, and I got that done as well. I felt good by the end of Sunday on the amount of work that I had done over the weekend. Apr 24, 2006 – my first day at Ameriprise… went peacefully. In 4 days (Apr 20-24) everything had changed!

May – June, 2006 – Settling down
Ameriprise was not as hectic as what Citibank was. In-fact, since I was new to the company there was not much work, which allowed me to go home in time and set all open issues. My CFA Level 2 exams were on June 4, 2006 for which I could not request a leave as I had just joined. So most non-office hours and weekends went in that. Except for the furniture, all other cartons (I think around 10) from Chennai containing books, electronics and even my prized home theatre remained packed. The exam went well, and 2 days later I got my 10Y US Visa as well…
(Pic: living room pic from my new home)

June – August, 2006 – First time in US
… 🙂 You know how people who have never been to US are so excited about US, well it is an excitement just limited to people who’ve never been to US. The journey from super-exicted to being homesick was fast. Yes, the buses were air-conditioned, the roads in Minnepolis are smooth and clean, and the buildings tall and brightly lit… but something was amiss. One of my friends, Sonali, introduced me to Orkut which helped me connect to long lost people – It was an addictive pass time, something I’m hooked to even now 🙂 I do not like to do tourism alone, so did not go anywhere except Milwaukee where my Masi lives. The only shopping I did was a Sony Playstation 2, and 14 games to go with that – something that I had craved for quite sometime.

August – October, 2006 – Life @ Fast-track.
I had gained 8 kilograms in US, and it showed. I was not happy about it. Strict diet control and daily exercising for 6 weeks bought me back to the shape. It is always better to take action before the problem goes out of hand. Another fun thing that I had started was my Salsa classes, which blocked my Sundays. Days seemed to just fly. So much so that I did not even unpack the 10 odd cartons from Chennai. Even the Sony Playstation 2 remained packed. My car did over 3,000 km during the period of these 2 months, which was more than half of what it had done in the last 18 months – Imagine! All this came to a screeching halt when work required me to travel again to US, for around 40 days. I left India immediately after Diwali.

October – Current, 2006 – US Again
There was no excitement this time. (I swear!) The corporate apartments that I got on this trip were much nearer to office and far better, which has made this trip very comfortable. By the first weekend, I was homesick… and at home, online most of the time.

There were three saving graces on this trip however:
1) The work pressure was very high, which kept me busy.
2) I had friends from Ameriprise, who were here too.
3) … 🙂 hmm – I think I’ll stop at two graces 😉

When I shifted my apartment from LV to OTG, we were all in the same building, and since then we are partying almost every week at 19B. Last weekend Abhinav and Dr Amit vacated 19B after our last party there. I think the new party place would be 14B (Deepak’s residence).

Despite hectic work schedules, I have been able to shop a lot on this trip, and thereby accumulated many clothes, watches, perfumes, cell-phones, electronics, books etc. In-fact I knew this would happen so I brought only one suitcase and I’d go back with two. I have also perfected my culinary skills and can make a lot of dishes, Chinese, Italian and Indian! Due to this, I’ve kept my weight under control as well.

Being homesick is manageable; it is the unpredictability, which is not. I was to leave on Dec 3, which got extended to 22, which now stands at Jan 23, 2007 and each day is becoming harder simply because, life seems to be at a standstill here. Some of the lines in Enrique’s song – be with you, make so much sense now. “I count the hours, but they go so slow, City lights, the streets are gold. Looked down my window to the world below. Move so fast, but it feels so cold.” (Pic: View from my LV apt on 12th floor)

Waiting anxiously for 2007, I wish Happy new year to all!

You have probably not worked with most of your fellow colleagues but carry opinions or perceptions about them. These perceptions would be based on your casual observations, few interactions or maybe what you have heard about them from others. It is therefore, possible that a goal oriented, meticulous and diligent person, who is frivolous in his /her public interactions, is likely to be perceived as laid-back and non-serious by those who do not actually work with him/her. Is it fair – No! Does it happen – Yes!

Is what we are perceived as, more important than what we really are? In fast moving world that we live in today, do people have the time to figure out who we really are? If our impressions are more important than us, then did Shakespeare mean it literally when he said, “All the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely actors”?

The idea of perceptions being reality forms the basis of a sociological and social psychology theory called “Impression management” which is the process through which people try to control the impressions other people form of them. However, like anything concerning people – Impression management is not an easy thing to do!

Consider this: A person who smokes working in a company where most seniors look down upon smoking carries a risk of creating a negative impression, whereas in a company where, most seniors smoke themselves, is more likely to be accepted, indicating a favorable impression! Should smokers, be careful before they light up in the former company and non-smokers fake smoking in the latter company?

Authors like Dale Carnegie and Stephen Covey focus on reality, i.e. they advice to work on your inner-development. Impression management, according to them is a quick fix solution, results of which are fast, but not lasting. This makes intuitive sense as well.

I could not help but wonder if the theory of perceptions being reality is true, and if it is true, then is it the most desirable thing? Reality is no doubt important. That is why we are told to focus on the so called “inner beauty” of the people we meet. But then, I do happen to know a lot of externally beautiful people scoring over those with the much touted “inner beauty”. Are masses not practicing what is being preached? Or is what is being preached out-dated or too idealistic? Do we need to replace this old-age teaching of “It’s what inside that matters!” to “It’s what apparent that matters!” What is more important – reality or perceptions?

Exercise:

The picture contains an old woman and a young one. But we can only see one of them at a time. The same line represents lips to those who see the old lady and a necklace to those who see the young one, old lady’s left eye is young one’s ear! In life as well, different attributes that we possess mean different things to different people.

There are some people who lack the ability to shift between the two. Try as much as you like but you might never be able to convince to them that there’s another possibility, another side to the story!

Thanksgiving, or Thanksgiving Day, is an annual one-day holiday to give thanks (traditionally to God), for the things one has at the close of the harvest season. On Thanksgiving Day, families and friends usually gather for a large meal or dinner.

I had the pleasure of being invited by Garin de Petra for a thanksgiving meal with his family. It was nice of him to do so, as this holiday meal is for family and close friends. I had mixed feelings about the entire affair primarily because it would be a big family I would have dinner with, and secondly because I had no idea what to take.

After discussing with my office colleagues and locals I decided Wine would be a good choice, given that it goes well with the thanksgiving meal, and something which is a rave in Minneapolis right now. The trip to the liquor store was fun too… Like it is with everything in USA, there were too many choices… All the wine bottles looked pretty and the shopkeeper confused me further explaining how white wine, which is not too dry, would go well with a thanksgiving meal and an Italian red wine would do well after the meal, as well as on a romantic setting… So confused, I decided to play it safe and told the shopkeeper to pack one of both.

Garin came sharp at 1.30 PM to pick me up. His parent’s house was a huge condo located in a peaceful surrounding far from the city. That is another thing about USA – big houses far from cities. The amazing roads, makes driving a pleasure, so even though their house was roughly 30 miles from the city (approximately 50 km), it took us only around half an hour to reach there. Still nervous (meeting the big family) I entered the house.

Small chit chat and lots of chips in French sour cream / chilly dip later we finally went on to the lunch table where Garin’s father Tom said a small prayer, thanking lord for the food and all that they have and then the great meal started.

There was a turkey, which was given a long and patient bath in grease and fat during and after it was being baked in the oven. It was served along with a dressing made of bread, spices, turkey inners and lots of good stuff, since it looked really yummy. The side dishes included sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, American corn, and asparagus. The bread served along with the food was incredibly soft. I being a thorough foodie enjoyed the sumptuous treat thoroughly.

One of the family members was Craig who is a police officer in Hopkins. He was a really smart looking guy, who liked what he did for a living, and me having watched so many English movies and television shows asked him many questions about the police in US which he enjoyed answering. Here are few of my key learning’s:

1. High speed chases, look cool on TV but are tough, and the police officer is in the constant tension no to hit any innocent bystanders!
2. They have Taser guns which subdue a person by firing something which administers electric shock, disrupting superficial muscle functions. Apparently huge guys, who are being aggressive, once administered with this Taser, cry like little girls and become very tame. It is not harmful, even on those having a pace-maker in their bodies!
3. Like in India, even in US – the compensation for the police officers for the kind of risk they take every day, it just does not match up.
4. They do apprehend a lot of defaulters on their each round and read their rights – You have right to remain silent, anything that you say can and will be used against you in the court of law! It is not just for the movies.
5. Police does not like F B I (it is not just in movies) They do think F B I has a lot of educated lawyers who try to apply book knowledge in solving crime
6. Cops don’t actually love donuts any more than normal Americans… It’s a cliché.

Amused, and pleasantly surprised to see so much exposure to US police and their way of working, Craig did invite me for a ride along in the back of his car, on any day that I want to… though I’d need to sign a declaration that Hopkins police and the state would not be liable for anything that were to happen to me during the ride along, and I do understand that it can get dangerous… I’d surely love to do it, if it works out…

Then, plenty of small talk later, they had a big question to ask me… Here it came (catching me unaware…) How does India view our war on Iraq? Stunned, I gathered myself to word my answer in the most politically correct manner, I remained silent for sometime, at which the family encouraged – “Go on, we aren’t a big fan of the war ourselves…” and I was like… well, the common feel is that the war is for oil.

Silence…

Quickly I added, well, what I also mean to say is that US economy, being the worlds biggest is closely watched, and here we see trillions of dollars going in this war, when the same if fruitfully invested in developmental investment would trigger off a boom in US economy which would have a trickle down benefit to the world economy, so we just feel it’s a lot of money getting wasted unproductively, and could be put to better use… and really, it’s the hard working tax payers money getting used for someone else’s cause…

Bull’s eye… I successfully used the US sentiment about their tax money, to wiggle out of an uncomfortable corner… They all totally agreed and were like… you know what – we think the same…

Craig did have another view point though, he said, “The amount of charity that USA is involved in, the amount of aid and help that it extends to all and sundry, it is really not fair that why there would be this world hatred against them!” He paused and then, “Why do you think Prashant, that is the case?” I paused and then again gave a politically correct answer? “Well, Craig – good work always goes unnoticed, take the example of US Police… the good work that you do to make the citizens safe, never gets any coverage – but one mistake that any of you do under pressure would get blown out of proportion by media, that’s just the way our world is…” and there I was… Second bull’s eye in a row! So morale of the story – be politically correct in expressing your views and give examples that the other person can relate to… The other person will listen to you then.

Totally overeaten, we all lazed around and the other family members updated each other on what they had been up to. Garin’s younger sister Trisha, along with her boy friend had three thanksgiving lunches to attend… and this was only their second… so it was a busy day for her. She is going to do a course in hair styling, and is excited about the same. That is another remarkable thing about USA. There are no judgments; you can follow your patience… I can almost imagine what were to happen if I were to tell my parents, that I want to do masters in hair styling… and the picture ain’t pretty.

We played a lot with their small dog Greta, who was extremely playful and liked to gnaw on a sock and you could pull her across the room with that. She could actually jump high to try and catch that sock. It was fun. Finally they gave me a grand tour of their home, which was huge, like everything else in USA. They had two cars, a Hyundai Sonata and a Toyota Camry. I wished I could own either of them in India…

It was around 5.30 pm (completely dark though since it is winter) when we finally said our byes to his family, and left for the day. Garin dropped me home. We enjoyed the view from my apartment on the 11th floor, had coke and made plans to see Casino Royale 007 in the coming week. (Did I mention we had a long discussion where we compared and contrasted the girls in US and India? It was quite an eye-opener and could actually be a separate post in itself!)

That is all about the amazing thanksgiving I had!

Couldn’t have been better!